Emotional Regulation in Children

Many people struggle with big emotions, but for children, it can be especially challenging when they’re still learning how to regulate their emotions. Emotional regulation is the ability to manage emotions, reactions, and behaviors in healthy ways. For children, this is a skill that can be nurtured with patience, guidance, and supportive strategies. When teaching kids emotional regulation, it’s important to let them know that regulating emotions does not mean they won’t feel big emotions like anger or frustration. Instead, you want to let them know that emotional regulation is about learning to recognize their feelings, what triggers them, how to express themselves appropriately, and how to use coping tools to handle stress. This skill is a key part of healthy mental and emotional development and plays an important role in how children interact with peers, succeed in school, and build self-esteem.

Children differ in how quickly they learn to regulate their emotions, and that’s okay. Some kids are naturally more sensitive, while others may need more time and support to manage feelings like frustration or disappointment. You may wonder why a seemingly small problem, like taking turns, waiting, or being told “no,” can result in big emotional outbursts. In many cases, acting out is a child’s way of communicating that they are overwhelmed, stressed, or unable to express what they’re feeling with words. For young children, especially those who are still developing language and self-control, big emotions can feel physical, like a volcano ready to erupt, and they may react with yelling, hitting, or crying.

Stress, changes in routine, sleep disruptions, or even hearing about things that worry them can also make children more reactive. When a child repeatedly loses their temper or struggles to calm down, it’s a sign that they may need additional support in learning how to handle strong emotions. 

One of the first steps in building emotional regulation is helping children name their emotions. Children can’t learn how to manage feelings they can’t identify. To help, you can say things like, “I see you’re feeling really angry right now,” or “It looks like that made you sad.” Over time, this helps your child associate their internal feeling with a word. Once they can label their emotions, they will be better equipped to talk about them and work through them. After they learn how to identify feelings, the next step is teaching them healthy coping skills. Just as we teach basic skills like tying shoes or brushing teeth, emotional regulation skills can be taught with practice and encouragement. 

 Simple tools that work well with kids include:

  •     Deep breathing. Slow breaths can help a child’s body relax when they’re feeling overwhelmed. 
  •     Physical activity. Movement helps discharge the extra adrenaline that often accompanies intense emotions. A quick walk, jumping jacks, or dancing to music can help reset a child’s mood.
  •     Quiet spaces. Designating a calm corner with pillows, stuffed animals, or sensory toys can give children a safe place to regroup.
  •     Storytelling. Books and stories about feelings can help children understand that everyone has big emotions, and that those emotions are manageable with support and time.

 

The key is to practice these tools before a meltdown occurs, so children can use them automatically when emotions run high.

Keep in mind that kids learn emotional regulation best by watching the adults around them. When you stay calm, use respectful language, and show kids how you cope with your own feelings, you’re setting them an example they can follow. 

Most children acquire emotional regulation through consistent practice and support. However, if your child frequently has intense emotional outbursts that interfere with school, friendships, or daily life, please call the pediatrician. There may be additional strategies or support resources available, including behavioral counseling, that can help your child strengthen these skills more effectively.



Fevers in Children: What Parents Should Know

When your child’s head feels warm, or they seem unusually tired or fussy, your first instinct may be to check for a fever, and that would be right! Fevers are a common part of childhood and one of the body’s natural ways of fighting infections. While a fever can feel scary, especially in a young child, it’s usually a symptom rather than an illness itself. Understanding what fevers are, when to treat them, and when to contact your pediatrician can help you care for your child with confidence.

A fever is defined as a temporary increase in body temperature, usually in response to an infection. Normal body temperature varies slightly from person to person, but a temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher generally indicates a fever. Common signs include the body and head feeling warm, flushed cheeks, sweating, shivering, and changes in behavior like irritability or unusual sleepiness. Some children may also experience headaches, body aches, or tummy discomfort.

In infants younger than 3 months, even a slight fever can be more concerning because their immune systems are still developing. For older children, mild to moderate fevers often accompany common infections like colds, the flu, or ear infections. While fevers can make kids uncomfortable, they usually go away as the underlying illness improves. Newborns and young infants require special attention when it comes to fevers. Babies younger than 3 months should be evaluated by a pediatrician immediately if their temperature reaches 100.4°F (38°C) or higher, even if they appear otherwise comfortable. Fevers in very young infants can be a sign of a serious infection and should not be ignored. Between ages 3 months and 3 years, fevers can typically be monitored at home if your child behaves relatively normally, is eating and drinking, and is not unusually irritable or lethargic. However, if your child develops additional concerning symptoms, such as trouble breathing, persistent vomiting, a stiff neck, a rash that doesn’t fade when pressed, unusual drowsiness or if the fever persists for 3 days, please call the doctor right away.

While fevers are uncomfortable, they aren’t inherently dangerous. In fact, they’re part of your child’s immune system, working to fight off infection. Very high fevers are less common in children than many parents expect, and most fevers under 104°F do not need aggressive treatment if your child is otherwise acting reasonably well. Keeping your child comfortable and observing them carefully is typically the first step. Fevers can vary throughout the day and may rise in the late afternoon or evening before settling down overnight. It’s important to use a reliable thermometer and follow instructions carefully for the most accurate reading. Don’t rely on feeling their forehead or other parts of their body alone, as temperatures can be misleading.

If your child is uncomfortable, acetaminophen and ibuprofen are common medications that can be used to reduce fever and relieve pain. Acetaminophen can be given to children 2 months and older when properly dosed by weight and age. Always call your Pediatrician prior to giving Acetaminophen to an infant under 3 years old as infants this young are typically evaluated in office first.  Ibuprofen is generally recommended for children 6 months and older. Always follow the dosing instructions on the label or as provided by your pediatrician, and never give aspirin to children, as it’s associated with Reye syndrome, a rare but serious condition.

Remember that medication is meant to make your child more comfortable, but it does not cure the fever itself. If your child is playing, drinking fluids, and otherwise acting normally, a fever alone does not necessarily need to be treated. Keeping them hydrated and ensuring they get enough rest is often enough.

Fevers are a common part of childhood illness, and while they may cause parents to worry, most are not harmful and can be managed with careful observation and comfort measures. If you have questions about how to take your child’s temperature, when to give medication, or when to call for medical help, please contact our office.